John Huston, director of movies like The Maltese Falcon, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre and The African Queen, liked to tell a little story that went something like this:
Two producers have been lost in the Sahara for several days, no food, no appropriate clothing, and no water. They are near death as they crawl up yet one more sand dune. However, at the top, they find themselves looking down on an oasis, a beautiful, sparkling pool of water. Elated, they use the last of the their strength to crawl to the water hole, but as the first producer starts to take a drink, the second producer stops him and says, “Wait! Let’s piss in it first.”
Today we’d probably substitute the title ‘creative executive’ as producers do have an actual and important function in the movie-making process, but it’s the same archetype. These are the folks who are usually behind such achingly ill-conceived, still-born wastes of time, effort and money as Alien vs. Predator.
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